Response to Alyson Smith's "Swiss Cheese"

Alyson –

            First, a quick summary: “Swiss Cheese” is about Brett Miller, a resident/intern/doctor at a hospital. During her shift, Jack Goodman, a man on death row, who has attempted suicide, is brought in. After twelve hours in surgery, Brett is tasked with looking after the man while he recovers. During this time, she comes to an understanding of Jack. Because of this, she gives Jack the information necessary for him to complete his suicide, thus “cheating the system” by dying before his execution.

            I really enjoyed this story. From the first scene, I was sucked in and wanted to keep reading; it was compelling. Part of the reason it was so compelling was the unique descriptions; I had this fantastic sense of place in my head, and I could see the characters moving around in it. One of my favorite descriptions is “rodent bodies filled the receptacle across the room like grey popcorn.” The image itself is disgusting, but the description was really unique and I was able to picture exactly what that looked like. I also really liked the callback of specific details that cropped up earlier in the story. For instance, Brett talks about cows being squeezed through chutes before they die, and then Jack brings this exact same point up later.

            As for suggestions, my main issue was the ending. I really liked the ending, but when I put down the story, I couldn’t figure out exactly what the change was or the motivation for it. I have this vague notion floating around in my head, but I wanted something a little stronger. For me, the change was that Brett came to identify with her patient. Before, she basically pretended that the patients were nameless, faceless beings so she wouldn’t be reminded of her mother. When she meets Jack, she’s actually interested in finding out who he is, what he’s done, and why he’s done it. I’m not really sure I understand why she does this though. Obviously, she’s scared of Jack, yet Brett is the one who keeps asking questions. Make the change and the motivation for the change more obvious so we’re not left wondering at the end.

            Also, I’d like to see more of her mother’s murder brought into her motivations. I got the sense it was her dad’s death that caused her to want to be a doctor. She was pre-med when she found her mother murdered, yet she couldn’t save her. Did that create an even stronger drive to become a doctor? How does her mother’s death affect her daily life in the hospital besides the fact that she doesn’t like to see her patients as real people? I think the mom’s death is a big part of Brett’s life and needs to be more a force in the story.