Response to Matt Diaz's "Series of Omissions"

Matt –

            I really enjoyed this story, which seems to be written in the style of an obituary or something similar, about Norman O’Connor and the things he leaves behind in death. Mainly, the story focuses on Norman’s relationships with his family members. These relationships present Norman as loving father and husband, who also can be rather harsh, even violent.

            First of all, I absolutely loved the characterization you used throughout this piece. I thought it was quite clever to show him through the different perspectives of the different people in his family. It worked really well, because, right when I thought I had gotten a handle on who I thought Norman was, you’d give some other details which made me rethink his character. I thought that this made it very realistic because no one in real life is cut and dry – there are some things that we like about people and other things that they do that irritate us – and I thought the characterization of Norman hit the nail on the head.

            That being said, my only real suggestion is that I want more – not necessarily in length or an expansion of the ending, because personally, I thought the ending was perfect. The place where I see the need for more description or characterization or whatever you want to call it, is in the scene with the sons. The thing that I thought you did best throughout the piece was to show Norman’s relationship with his family, and how those family members perceived him. However, the sons’ scene focuses mainly on them. They beat each other up, but I don’t think it quite characterizes their relationships with their father. I get they were upset by his death, but I want more. I want to know what about their relationship with Norman would cause them to do that.

            Also, and this really isn’t a detail that’s needs to be added into the actual story, but I read this as an obituary of sorts, which led to me to question who “wrote” this obituary. Was it the wife or one of the children? There’s really no way to add that into the story without changing the framework, but I thought it was an interesting detail that would color how Norman is portrayed.