Response to Kevin Boy's "Where to Start?"

Kevin –

            I liked your story about a young boy named Darroll, who yearns to break free from the stifling control of his parents; he wants freedom and a life of his own.

            The thing that is really working in this story is the voice. From the first paragraph of the story, I was completely sucked in by the narrator’s voice. Not only is it unique, but it is also very natural – it is not stiff or awkward. There are fragments and uncompleted thoughts, both of which contribute to the natural flow of the narration. I also really liked the recurring motif of the dinosaurs and how you incorporated that into the idea of extinction. The continuation of the simile throughout creates an interesting dynamic between Darroll and his parents – if he doesn’t take care, their overbearing control will obliterate his freedom, and he will never have a chance to live life as he wants to live it.

            My main suggestion is to explore the motivations of the characters. First, let’s start with Darroll. I get that he wants to have some semblance of freedom and live his own life, which is completely natural. However, I want to know why. The narration hints that he doesn’t like being the “momma’s boy,” and that he resents his parents for treating him like a mindless animal. However, I’m a bit confused as to where these feelings are coming from. Darroll says that it took some time, but he got used to their controlling nature. However, his parents have probably been like that his whole life, so their controlling ways would be something natural to him. Second, I’d like to see more of the parents. Why are they so controlling? The grandfather seems like a pretty relaxed person, so I imagine that his parenting style wasn’t over the top controlling. With that in mind, I’m a bit confused about why the mother parents the way she does. Most people model their parenting style after their own parents, or if they hated their upbringing, they do the exact opposite of what their parents did. So it makes me wonder if Darroll’s mother is so controlling because her own father wasn’t? I think clarification of motives would greatly enhance this already interesting story.