Response to Cole Stuart's "Vacation from Boyhood"

Basically, this story is about two guys who have known each other since childhood and are both slightly nerdy. They definitely do not fulfill the stereotypical image of men being strong brutes. In order to prove that they are “manly men,” they go on a fishing trip to Wisconsin during their winter break. While there, they build a fire, but leave the fire burning unattended, thus burning down the cabin.

Overall, I enjoyed the story. I wasn’t bored and I never felt the urge to just stop reading. There were also times when the narrative voice came across as unique, which I really enjoyed. For example, the narrator says to his friend, “I have been preparing for this for like three weeks now, and have three weeks’ worth of unshaven chest hair to prove it. Beat that sucker.” The voice in this quote is distinctive, because it clearly shows that the narrator is not the testosterone-laden man he wants to be. It is also quite humorous, because it implies that the narrator shaves his chest on a regular basis. There were several instances of this wry humor sprinkled throughout the story, which was very entertaining.

Though the story on the whole was entertaining, I found it slow at some parts, especially in the beginning. The beginning few pages leading up to the actual trip could probably be condensed. I would rather get straight to the story than read through several pages of back story. Also, a good portion of the story is in summary. I would like to see more scene. Scene is more exciting to read.

Also, I feel like I never really understood who the characters were. Basically, all I know about them is that they are friends, but they weren’t really good friends until college. They both like think and are planners not doers. Beyond that, I don’t know who these characters are. What do they look like? What motivates them? I don’t even know the narrators name or his gender. I assume it’s a guy based on the voice and the interactions with Connor, but I’m not sure.

Lastly, attention to detail would greatly enhance your story. As of right now, there are a few details that didn’t really sit well with me. For example, this story takes place in the winter of 2004. However, the boys’ means of communication is very technology based. They became better friends via Facebook when they went off to college. Facebook wasn’t invented until February of 2004 and was only available for Harvard students and then Ivy League students for some time. I have a hard time believing that by the summer of 2004, Facebook would have been a big enough of a thing to be their main means of communication. It’s the same thing for the texting. Texting wasn’t nearly as popular in 2004 as it is now. Also, and this goes along with my lack of understanding of the characters, but I assumed that they were freshmen in college, so probably around 18 or 19. However, they buy beer without a problem. Attention to the little things would greatly enrich the story.