Response to Alyson Smith's "Kids"

Alyson Smith’s “Kids” is a story about a group of girls at a summer church camp. The narrator, Jenny, is a twelve year old girl who loves reading, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars. Unfortunately, these likes make her stick out from the girls at camp. She is not obsessed with makeup and boys like the other girls, but rather keeps to herself.

I think you do a good job representing the girls in the opening scene. I grew up with a sister, so I understand how mornings go and the description in the beginning was pretty much spot on. However, as the story progressed, I felt like the representation of the girls made them seem a bit older than they were stated to be.

As it stands right now, I don’t feel like there is an actual story here – it’s more a situation or a compilation of events. There really isn’t that much tension or conflict (unless you count the shocking revelation that a thirteen year old is having sex at church camp). Also, I don’t really know who changes. Jenny doesn’t change because she doesn’t have the chance to have a transformation – nothing actually happens to her. The entirety of the story is a clustering of events that happen to the people around her, not to her. It’s the other girls who are crushing on the boys in camp or trying to capture Jeremy’s attention. It’s Morgan who has a “crisis” because Connor likes Chandler and not her. It’s Jenna who is caught sleeping with Chandler. Because none of things actually happen to Jenny herself, there is nothing that can help cause a change in her. She just observes and retains the same attitude toward the other girls – she doesn’t understand them and doesn’t care.

Personally, I want to see Jenny’s motivations be explored. Right now, I don’t know why she is so antisocial. Why is she so reluctant to be like the other girls? If she doesn’t like and doesn’t want to participate in the camp activities, why is she there in the first place? Did she want to go, and then it wasn’t what she thought it was going to be? Or maybe her mom forced her to go? I want to understand Jenny’s character more and see her change.